Well I'm back again, after a brief sojourn into the world of online dating and ridiculous work load I am back to square one. For those that don't know I've been seeing a great Australian girl for the past 3 months and thought, with some justification, that things were going well. Until this week that is...
I knew something was wrong straight away, though it has amazed me how quickly it went from hot to cold, from being a plus one at a ball and going to her niece's first birthday party and meeting extended family to being dumped within 7 days (which included me sending her flowers - idiot that I am). So what happened? I have some ideas but I didn't want to delve into the gallows that is ended relationships. In my experience, whatever the reason, it is best left alone.
The official reason? Well something along the lines of our professional lifestyles being incompatible (a blatant made up excuse, who's professional lives are matched perfectly? Certainly not any parents I know), the physical distance (1 hour drive each way, I'll give her that one) and the statement that at some point in my future I will want to go back to England (not at all true, I'll go wherever for the right person). Still I was impressed with how I dealt with it, calm, understanding and a complete gentleman. I was comforting her, as strange as that seemed. Maybe I wasn't as attached as I thought.
The real reason? I have been through a few break ups now, both from dumped and dumper point of view and I am fascinated how easily it is to tell a lie in these situations and to believe the lie you tell yourself. Only one thing causes such a quick turn around, there is someone else, most probably an ex boyfriend and I was the rebound. I know she was meeting her ex socially, who treated her badly, because she told me. It is not a big stretch to the point where she saw him, he professes he should never have broken up and wants to get back together, causing conflicting emotions and thus getting rid of me so she doesn't feel too guilty when she goes back to him (why do girls always go back to men who treat them badly?). Of course I may be wrong.
So what have I learnt?
(a) I am in tune enough with girls feelings that I can sense when something is wrong, not that I know what to do about it or what the wrong thing is.
(b) I am capable of dealing with rejection because, let's face it, I'm awesome (well at least I know who I am and what I want, makes what other people say or do a lot less relevant to my happiness). It also helps that I like myself.
(c) Girls like me, just have to figure out how to stop the girl's I can see myself marrying from dumping me first.
(d) I am ready to settle down. This is a slight shock to me. Not immediately you understand but in the next few years.
(e) Did I mention I was awesome? I think I did. :)
Till next time,
M
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